Do it for Yourself...

Selfish- definition: –adjective

1.	devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.

- that is according to Webster's Dictionary. This word has an evil connotation. What the hell is wrong with being selfish? To me - as long as you are not taking advantage of or hurting anyone, you can be selfish. There is nothing wrong with taking care of your own ... or with looking after yourself. If you don't take care of yourself, you obviously won't have a life to live. You should come first.... for you. There is no way you can have a job, children or a life if you do not think about yourself and your needs first. Who can even share themselves with another person if you do not take care of you first. Do no take this the wrong way, i am not saying if you want candy that you should take it from a baby ... but you should hold yourself in high regards.... i do. and i never did before - i put everyone and everything ahead of myself all of the time... i would often get sick or end up in a hospital because i would not look after myself ... i would help the boy i liked get with another girl that i hated... i gave my jacket away at out door parties to friends that were cold -- even though i was left standing in a "wife beater" -- these things are acts of kindness ... however i did realize only this morning, that it is okay to be selfish. -- I made the decision last week to go to a benefit for my mother to raise money for my college education. Yet yesterday, after I had my first real breakdown, mentally and emotionally -- i realized, right now ... i do not have the ability to attend this benefit. I packed my bags and left MA ... i called my family and told them i didnt want to go.. rather i called my auntie dawn who called my uncle dave who supposedly called and told my grandmother .. yet when i called to tell her i would call her when i got safely to auntie dawns house ... which was me being really nice .. i dont have to check in with them, i just dont want them to worry ... the old lady pulled a fast one on me! - she told me she was disappointed with me.. listen lady, im disappointed with MY ENTIRE FAMILY.... how dare you??? where did you all of a sudden find courage??? -- because as i see it - they were trying to drag me on a 4 hour cruise .. with my mother's co-workers none of which have i ever met , not allow me to bring any of my closest family or friends -- and throw me into a room where 405 people everything from dick head CEO's bitchy wives and even bitchier travel agents .. all of whom are gay and i cannot walk past with the wrong dress on .. or with my makeup running - they have toolbelts of makeup -- my mother informed me of this one.- they would tell me how sorry they are -- how much they miss my mom -- and how proud she was of me ... excuse me but i dont do sorry. i bet i miss her more, are you trying to compete with me? and you do not need to tell me how proud either of my parents were of me ... they told me EVERYDAY. ---- for the first time in my life ... i dont give a shit about what anyone thinks!! - unfortunately my family does ... they worry about their appearance and how they speak, who they talk to and who is allowed to talk to them. ... they are extremely nice and i love them .. they just care to much .. so today .. and tomorrow when the benefit is ... and probably everyday for the rest of my life -- i am going to be selfish --- in a good way... in the sense that i will put myself first... i will worry and take care of me and my neeeds before i even think about anyone elses'... I am 18, maybe i am allowed to do this ... maybe not. i dont care.

"concerned primarily with one's own interests."

-- tell me, what is wrong with that huh?
"Im going to do me ... and you can do you- and i dont care what no body says"- akon.